What exactly is a support group? Who needs one? Who creates them? How can they succeed, and what does that look like? (And may I please have one? Because that sounds nice.)

 

As Christians, we are called to come alongside each other. To comfort, educate, and encourage, each other. A support group does this in a more intentional manner, providing these benefits in ways and quantities that might not naturally occur in the benches after church or at a coffee break.  

 

There are different types of support groups, and some might be better labelled as care groups, advisors or friend groups. 

 

One type of group unites people who are dealing with similar circumstances, those “in the same boat.” Perhaps the most well-known example of this type of group is Alcoholics Anonymous, but there are similar groups for cancer sufferers, families of drug addicts, adoptive parents, and many more.

 

The GriefShare meetings helped me realize I’m not strange. My emotions and reactions are normal! And they opened up so much discussion. I wish I’d known about them sooner. –Testimonial for GriefShare, a North America-wide program for those suffering from loss

 

Another kind of support group looks more like a circle of friends with a WhatsApp chat or coffee break schedule, but they are created for a specific person, as a safe place for this individual to request prayer or advice. While one or two members may appear to have greater challenges, really, the entire group benefits from the communication and friendship. Even if a support group is started for one particular person/couple/family, it is good if it becomes a support for everyone, as we all go through hard times and need support.

 

This sort of group might meet weekly or monthly in person and use the group chat in between. (Note: it’s always polite to ask before adding someone to a group chat, and please give people a chance to back out gracefully. Don’t take it personally if someone opts out; not everyone will have room on their plate.)

 

I started a support group for myself, for those times when I need extra prayer. Now when something comes up, I just put an emoji on the chat, and it’s so comforting to know how many women are praying, just like that. It’s a huge boost to me. –Testimonial from a church sister

 

Sometimes this kind of support happens gradually and organically. Maybe several women enjoy the same hobby—say, quilting—and form a group chat. As the years go by, they get onto more personal topics and become heart friends. When one of the group develops cancer, or loses a spouse, or finds out their new daughter-in-law has an eating disorder, the rest of the group rallies around to uphold them. This kind of group is a special blessing, whether it happens to a group of mechanics, scrapbookers, EMTs, or music teachers.

 

A third kind of group—perhaps the main one that comes to mind when we hear the term “support group”—is formed deliberately around a struggling person or family. Sometimes this kind of group is made up of friends from the same congregation, such as several couples supporting a troubled marriage, or a group of individuals learning to help care for a disabled child or adult. Sometimes the group is made up of a variety of people from here and there who can each offer a unique ability or insight into the journey of the client.

 

(Note: for clarity and conciseness, this article will use the word “client” to refer to the person this sort of support group is built around and focusing on, the individual in need of or requesting a support group.)

 

When we had meetings where the parents needed to attend, there was a constant rotation of adults looking after those children from hard places. I think what impressed me the most was that not once all weekend did I feel a speck of resentment. It was beautiful! –Testimonial

 

So how is this latter kind of support group formed?

 

Some of the most successful groups seem to happen organically and be made up of volunteers. The client may not even be aware of them at first. Example: a church sister leaves an abusive marriage and moves to another congregation. Staff from both congregations stay in close contact about the situation and form a group chat for ease of discussion. A family member or two messages with one of the staff members and is added to the chat, again for ease of discussion. The same thing happens with a friend or two. Suddenly there is a whole collection of people brainstorming, advising, and praying.

 

I have full confidence in my support group, even thought is sometimes hard to ask for advice again and again. The group has taught me to trust again. –Testimonial

 

In a future article, we will explore more about this last type of support group, including what makes them work and possible pitfalls they might encounter. Feel free to share your own experiences in the comments section.

 

Many people who come forward to support others simply pass on what they themselves have received.

 

Vila Gingerich